Thirty seconds of base covering

"The things that we're afraid of are gonna show us what we're made of in the end." Third Eye Blind - She Likes me for me-

I love this quote. It reminds me that I'm only afraid because I care, and you cant be afraid of losing something you don't have. She's mine and shes stuck.

I missed her this morning, granted she was only on for 30 seconds (literally) but I was on the computer! There was no way I should have missed her but I did and it sucks. Now I don't get to wish her luck or remind her that you lose points for falling off. Not that she needs it, but its fun to torment her like she does.

Shes going to a ranch roping today. Its the one thing about horses I know more than she does so I like to rub it in. Plus shes been a butthead and has been avoiding me lately. Not always directly but she does millions of other things while we talk so she doesn't actually talk to me. She talks kinda at me, like shes saying her thoughts rather than telling me about them. Or like shes reading off a list of things she has to do. I know shes busy and I know I'm not the most talkative person in the world, but I can grumble and whine if I want to. HEMPH!!

Things go through phases around here and sometimes the bad can be good for us. There are times when I go outside the wire for days on end, sometimes a week or two. These days or weeks suck pretty bad. I have no idea whats going on back home and I have a million things to say and topics I want to discuss. sometimes I have guard duty while I'm out and have hours and hours to sit there and think about what I could be doing. Then theres the missions and the added stress of not coming back and washing up. I have to be in kit alot more and that irritates my back (I pulled a muscle in it and some of my vertebrae were stuck and it hurts). Theres a million other things that make it worse than when Im on the FOB but I don't really care to write them all. When I come back though, Myna and I have things to talk about, we've had time to think about what whats important and we're reminded at how much we mean to each other.
But again sometimes life intervenes on the civilian side when I get back and it adds to it the frustration rather than relieves it. You write letters and stuff and talk about things that you think are important and relevant. I guess sometimes you are wrong, they aren't that important or they don't really like what you are making and you feel disappointed cause its had days and days to inflate in your mind. Thats where your will comes into play. You just have to fight down your dumb ass fears and accept whats going on and try to be as understanding as they are when you go away for your time out. But its hard cause I'm selfish and I want MY myna. I don't want her to be diluted with ancillary stuff. Shes MINE, not the worlds.