Alienated

I'm here in the green zone of Iraq making my sworn statement against a terrorist my team caught. For those of you that don't know, the green zone is a super safe area in the Baghdad area were all the cool palaces are and most of the monuments. For the first time in combat I feel kind of different from everyone around me. I hear people talk of what they would do in a mortar attack and I think to myself that most the time you don't know one is going on until its already over. I hear people talk about how they wish they'd seen some action and that if this place gets over run how they will jump up and help the marines fight. I know the truth. The truth is that even I would get in the marines way, not because I'm any less of a fighter or trained to any less degree, but because I don't know my way around here. I wouldn't know who to shoot or who not to. My best use would be to help centralize the noncombatants. I know that if a hole was blown into this wall that the roof would still stand.

I saw a convoy of humvees today with their IBAs hung on the outside of their vehicles. I couldn't say anything. I get weird looks because when I'm idle I clean my weapon off. I see people all around me that mean well and want to help but are misled.

Its kind of sad to think that many of these people think they want to be where I am but the reality is it sucks where I am. I guess a friend of mine had it right when he said,"the suck is where the story comes from." I'm not so sure the story's worth it. Be happy where you are. I know you get bored here and your deployment seems to take forever, but it has a definite end that has you back home. Id rather do a 15 month deployment in the green zone than a 10 month deployment in Mosul or Diyala. There's alot of fun things to do out there enjoy them.

I'm no better than you are because I'm where I am, I'm just a little less lucky.